The 3 Months Rule

When someone dear to me exits a relationship or break up with their lover, the first thing I do is comfort them (duh). Soon, after comforting them and making them feel a little better, I lecture to them about the 3 month rule. And they end up saying "Ha?" or "Okay.... Wait, what's that?" or they just simply ignore me. :(


As the search engine tells me, the 3 month rule states "that you must wait at least three months before getting excited about the long-term possibilities of a new person."  Simply said, it's a rule that newly single people should follow when they fall out of love. There are 3 reasons why I think people should follow this rule.





First reason: When a person leaves a relationship, there is a feeling of the need to be loved and comforted to compensate his or her loss which is dangerous because when a person is in a state like this, it might drive them to be too attached to the next person who provides these needs to him/her. It's not safe for a person to get attached to someone quickly when the pain of the past is still there. They might fall in love again (too soon) and end up breaking their own hearts. It could 'cause an overlapping heart-ache from a person because right after a failed relationship, that person enters another one and then ends up with a heart ache again.
IT COULD CAUSE DEPRESSION.




Second reason: This rule should be followed because after a failed relationship, one should collect himself/herself and allow them to grow as an individual or maybe even think about why the relationship didn't last. Think back and look at what you did or what happened that made it end. 3 months is enough time for a person to find himself/herself and improve their individuality before they enter a new relationship. Basically, it's just enough time to develop one's self to prepare for a new relationship.


Third reason: It allows you to find someone else and getting to know them but no in a way that you are in a relationship with them. Give it time. Let those 3 months allow you to dig deep into that person's life so that you might know if that person is REALLY the one you want and if you can see a good future of a relationship with that person. Get to know that person. Find common interests. Talk to each other a lot and etcetera. If you like that person then maybe you have a good chance of having a good relationship with that person.


Basically, the 3-month rule allows an individual who just got out of a relationship to REPAIR themselves before a new heart break comes. It allows a person to GROW as an individual and develop themselves before they grow with others. And lastly, it allows a person to KNOW other people. It allows a person to expand their social circle too.. It's not a rule that if you break it, you'll go to jail but believe me, 3 months is worth the time to wait for the next person to come along.



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P.S. I followed the 3 month rule when I broke up with my last boyfriend (April 2010).. After those 3 months of reflecting, I chose to stay single and not have a relationship. (There are exceptions, though. Haha!) I hope this post can help those who just got out of a relationship. I'm no expert. I'm just highly recommending that you follow this rule.. :)